Still Learn and Grow

Reflecting on a recent celebration of honesty and equality on National Coming Out Day, I remember a casual conversation with my parents and our dear friends Eric and Andrew. During this time, I would guess I am around 12-14 years old. Eric tells a funny story about how he had recently sent an email referencing the fact that he has a husband. The recipient of the email then sends back an email with the greeting reading "Mrs." rather than "Mr." We chuckle because we know that times are changing, and some people just have a tad bit of catching up to do: That being said, however, I reply in true middle school Abby fashion (not thinking before speaking and trying to be funny while ultimately failing): "That's funny," directing my attention to Andrew, "because if anything, you would be the woman in your relationship..." Because Andrew loves me like a daughter, he does exactly what a good parent would do: give me a little glare and a tip of t...

Rugrats: 90's cartoon classic and staple in my brother's and my childhood. As a "big kid" (more along the ages of 5 or 6) it was funny to look at babies and their thoughts on the world around them, including the lyrics to "My Country 'Tis of Thee" and thinking a lizard is the child of a cartoon dinosaur. But recently, I watched an episode of Rugrats that made me realize that the fictitious thoughts and opinions of babies help us understand the simplicity of some things in life. To give some context: at this point, the babies are all children of three sets of parents that are friends and neighbors: the Pickles(s), the DeVilles, and the Finsters. In this episode, the Pickles and DeVille parents fight in a game of charades, insulting each other. The two sets of parents end up in a fight that breaks the relationship. The Devilles then take their children home, and they end up fighting. This is where it gets familiar. Mr. Pickles starts ...

I've just started watching Glee  for the first time (don't know why I hadn't gotten into it before, but that's beside my point). Most of the episodes allow me to indulge what I love about musical theatre–setting a story to music. However, a moment that hit me right in the feels was about the cheerleading aspect. Longs story short, Mercedes (a bigger girl) joins the cheer squad to show off what she can do at a larger scale than on stage. Her coach wanted her to lose weight to fit into a skirt, and she ends up in the hospital because of a developing eating disorder. Quinn (a former cheerleader) knew how she felt, but Mercedes said that Quinn always had being skinny, blonde, and beautiful to fall back on as a tear rolled down her cheek. To make things clear: by no means have I ever heard a real coach say something like that, and I pray that no coach ever will–and if there has, I hope they never do again. Other than that aspect, I remember fitting day for cheerlea...

For many days, I tell myself, "Their words–they might be true. You weep because you cannot change How God created you." I went to gain a sense of worth From others' way of words; The problem with my expectation: My needs, I never heard. I longed so, for a better me, One that's not too loud, Not too tall, too large, too silly, Too open, too sassy, too proud. My heart would have to tug my head To stand itself back up: "Among the things you wish could change, Are some that others love." I have the strength to tell myself, "Your confidence make me blush; If anyone says otherwise, Don't think you are too much." "Your body's fine the way it is– You're tall to touch the sky; You laugh so loud, so lovely, dear, So hold your head up high." To those who long for comfort now, What I say is true: Love yourself, for you can't change How God created you.

Over the last few days, I've heard comments about someone in our school. The comments were along the lines of that someone being too spoiled, that someone being hypercritical (mostly non-verbally), and that someone being more inquisitive than necessary. These may seem insignificant in nature, these subjects being "just an opinion" but I want to make this clear–that is an example of bullying. Ah, that word. We've seen it countless times in elementary and middle school, but we don't recognize it much in high school unless someone got physical or yelled inappropriately at someone. Much of bullying discussed in elementary and middle school are now referred to as "opinions", so it makes it sound like they have a right to say something mean about someone else. I'm not saying that I'm not guilty of this, but some people pass it off and don't realize it. This situation I talked about above is not an exception. Why is it not an exception? Why a...

Disclaimer: While this is mostly about suicide, many similar things can be said about substance abuse or distracted driving, so PLEASE consider the following. Recently a student in a neighboring town took their life. While learning about probability in math class, our teacher compared (statistically) the probability of us failing math unintentionally given we are students at our school vs. the probability of having serious thoughts of suicide given that we are a teenager in America. The main reason the prior has odds of slim to none is because the school constantly circulates those academic needs back to us and makes sure we know resources are available. That doesn't mean the resources to combat the latter are not available, but apparently some people have yet to be aware of or to comprehend their availability. My teacher then made it clear that any teacher, whether you have a class with them or not, is willing to talk things out. If you don't find luck, this is the ...

I wanted to share this because I come across people that have problems with themselves all of the time. I want to make sure those people understand that many (not all) people of whom they see as confident and secure are often on a very fine line of doubt. I appear to have a general "I don't give a butterfly's behind of what you think" attitude. Many people view me as super outgoing and confident, and I appreciate that. But though I have a lot of good days with generally good thoughts, I can't say it's like that all of the time. That's right, I doubt myself. A lot. These are all things I've thought of myself over many days for the last three years. "I'm not pretty enough to be a cheerleader." "I'm far from being as good of a musician as that person, maybe anyone." "I'm not smart enough to be in this class." There are days where I can just pick an outfit because it makes me feel like me, but other...