Still Learn and Grow

The 89th Annual Academy Awards had a theme of inspiration. Between various categories, different actors/actresses would describe an onscreen portrayal that inspired them, and that actor would present with the actor that inspired them. I'm not a professional actress (or really a professional anything), but for this post, I would like to discuss a portrayal that I long to have express my gratitude for just as Javier Bardem did for Meryl Streep. Though this portrayal was a TV movie with no Oscar nominations, I had the video cassette, so I still count it as a motion picture, and I still find the same kind of "Oscar inspiration" nonetheless 😊. With my senses being (for lack of a better term) overwhelmed in the most delicate situations as a kid (due to my special needs ), I admired movies with the most tangible satisfaction. In the 1999 TV movie version of Annie, there were many details big and small that my 3-year-old brain would be emotionally satisfied by: the brushes...

Yes, it's true. For the last seven days and continuing through the season of lent, I've disciplined myself to eat breakfast every morning, to lessen snacking, and to give up the following: pastries, cookies, cakes, chocolate/candy, sugary beverages (soft drinks, chocolate milk, Gatorade-type things), ice cream...just all "sweets". Why? I'm acquiescent to terrible eating habits. Many of the calories I make up in my day (from either skipping breakfast or just having a pastry for breakfast) are from snacking on sweets. A regular snack for me–no joke–a fist full of chocolate chips washed down with a glass of milk. "Moderation" is not a much of a word in my vocabulary, so this would happen most days, if not, it eventually turned to having a bunch of cookies or some sort of desert for multiple snacks. I had told my parents the previous night that I was becoming unpleasantly moody in school. I had come to realize that during this week of Valentine'...

Sorry, I'm a little late in posting; February's getting messy, timewise. I just wanted to leave a few needed words of encouragement this week, as much for you as for me. It's not a bit fun feeling powerless. I get that. If you are feeling powerless because there are so many big things that are out of control, focus on what you do have. There are things that only you have been called to do around you all of the time . Your family, your job, your friends–all of those are vocations to you to help make the world better. If you have used your time to make the community around you walk a little bit lighter, you've already made more of a difference in the world than you think. If you feel compelled to help a stranger (even if it's just opening the door), go for it! You know and understand what's good in this world: lifting each other up when we feel down.  You can do it; spread that beauty that you possess.

I am on "the spectrum". I had an Individualized Education Plan for a while before my family and I decided it wasn't doing much for me anymore, as I am able to function now without assistance. When I tell people about it, their responses are usually–in a very loving way– "Oh. That actually makes so much sense" if they've known me since childhood/it's no surprise, or "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I had no idea" as if it was a burden to me at all. To those of the latter, really, it's not like I have a terminal health condition. It's something that I've lived and am still living with. Just because my brain works a little differently doesn't mean I can't still learn and grow (haha) like everyone else. It took me a long time before I could accept myself. Continually, I've learned to live with what I ultimately can't do which, in reality, is very little compared to what I can do. One thing that disgusts me in m...

I was in the Charleston are of South Carolina on vacation for a week in June of 2015. One day, we wanted to see the French Quarter but got lost while trying to park somewhere. As we started our multi-mile walk in 100ºF weather, we came across a big beautiful church. In front of it was a large black gate with cards and big bouquets of flowers in front of it. They said things like "We will miss you." and "You will not be forgotten." I quickly realized that I was there, at Mother Emmanuel AMC, where the shootings had taken less than a week previously. On my right, I saw a woman walking out of the church, clutching a handkerchief to her eyes with one hand while the other grasped to a man's hand next to her with his head low. To my left, a group of people stood in a crowd on that street. They had a continuous passionate chant: "United we stand, divided we fall." What was shocking was that in this moment, this wasn't a news story, a dramatic inter...

Many of my friends are "atheists". Whether they've been taught about religious texts in a way they can't understand or believe, whether they've had a bad experience with religious people, or they've just not had any reason to have faith in something invisible–these very different people have come to this conclusion. But they are different in they the way they define it. Some of them don't have a religion, some say they don't have faith. Many people (religious or not, faith driven or not) don't realize that religion and faith don't go hand in hand. Religious systems are like political systems in the way that each "party" (religion, denomination, congregation etc.) have ideas about how things should be done for the good of (in religion) humanity. Some may do it in forceful, ugly ways; others may do it through charitable organizations; some do the work of achieving it without involvement of a specific religion (or at least thinking the...

Many times, we view life like a documentary. We see an image, and voices speak for it rather than letting it's voice of purpose be heard. If there is an image we don't like– whether it's how you see the opposite political party, different culture, unimaginable life experience –we take the image and criticize it. But we forget that people are not images; they're people, real people, similar beyond measure. I wrote this poem/rap the other night talking about perspectives that we often don't think about and how I wish these could play out. *This is not directly based on any story, just from my understanding of various stories of the sort, real and fictional. I'm also not saying this is the case for ALL situations like this, on the contrary. This scene you see me in, turn and say, "She has no expression upon her face." I'm sorry, but there's not a one minute reason, These images being hard to taste. A boy, he's only 13, Pas...