One thing that disgusts me in modern media is the stigma among (I shudder to say this word) "disabilities". For example, a plethora of ignorant people believe that vaccinations cause autism. There's actually no evidence of a connection. Even if there was, despite what people might immediately think, that's definitely not the worst thing that could happen. People with autism spectrum disorders have plenty of capability to be as healthy as the next guy. I'm not saying parenting a child with physical or mental ailments is a piece of cake, but it's easy to find plenty of parents who see a lot of beauty within the mechanisms of their everyday challenges, like my awesome parents 💋. I would like to share with you a few things I have come to find beautiful about myself.
1. I don't have the ability to fake my personality. I am an actor, but in real life, everything shines through and there's nothing I can really do about it. When something makes me happy, you will know. Sure, I quickly learned to adjust my passionate opinions at age six–with one person my favorite color was purple and favorite animal was a cheetah, and with another it was yellow and a dolphin. However, I never did try to hide my regular course of action. My hair is this short because I wanted to make it short. My decision to wear makeup was based on whether I felt like it or not. I don't spend time with just one group of people because I've accumulated many traits from the unique people I knew for a long time. It's pretty neat.
2. My emotional energy is at a constant high. As a kid, I would squeal if something was great or cry to communicate that something was wrong. This mostly because either I couldn't find words to describe the intensity of what I was feeling (especially with my heightened senses and my hearing sensitivity). Eventually, I found out how to use words instead of tears through the help of my beautiful kindergarten teacher (Mrs. Croatt 😇), and words have become a fun way to decorate the intense feelings I have . For example, if I'm in someone's car with a really strong air freshener, I'd say something like "Jeez, did a pine tree take a crap in here?". Even if I'm exhausted and I see any one of my friends that I'm not even that close with, I still show my utmost excitement, because every emotion is that extreme.
3. Passion fills my cup and lets it overflow. At age 4, arranging things in patterns that only made sense to me wasn't for practical purposes; physically doing it was what gave me the pleasure, not the end result. In PE in elementary school, I would sing and dance regardless of the task at hand. People would get annoyed because they thought I was full of myself, when really, holding still felt preposterous when I was surrounded with this bubble of music. I talk way too much about Camp Ewalu, but only because it's the place that puts bread in my soul. I may try to make someone laugh when really they don't feel like only because to see them without that joy is too painful. I'm a hugger because I have more love for all people to try to keep to myself. I'm clingy most everyone and everything because I care. A lot.
If you find something that you dislike about yourself that you feel is unchangeable, I can guarantee that there is beauty there. I'm sorry if someone made you see it in an ugly way. Also, if you want to get yourself more familiarized with people that have been looked down upon because of what they can't do, go on ahead. You'll find the beauty in them, too.
1. I don't have the ability to fake my personality. I am an actor, but in real life, everything shines through and there's nothing I can really do about it. When something makes me happy, you will know. Sure, I quickly learned to adjust my passionate opinions at age six–with one person my favorite color was purple and favorite animal was a cheetah, and with another it was yellow and a dolphin. However, I never did try to hide my regular course of action. My hair is this short because I wanted to make it short. My decision to wear makeup was based on whether I felt like it or not. I don't spend time with just one group of people because I've accumulated many traits from the unique people I knew for a long time. It's pretty neat.
2. My emotional energy is at a constant high. As a kid, I would squeal if something was great or cry to communicate that something was wrong. This mostly because either I couldn't find words to describe the intensity of what I was feeling (especially with my heightened senses and my hearing sensitivity). Eventually, I found out how to use words instead of tears through the help of my beautiful kindergarten teacher (Mrs. Croatt 😇), and words have become a fun way to decorate the intense feelings I have . For example, if I'm in someone's car with a really strong air freshener, I'd say something like "Jeez, did a pine tree take a crap in here?". Even if I'm exhausted and I see any one of my friends that I'm not even that close with, I still show my utmost excitement, because every emotion is that extreme.
3. Passion fills my cup and lets it overflow. At age 4, arranging things in patterns that only made sense to me wasn't for practical purposes; physically doing it was what gave me the pleasure, not the end result. In PE in elementary school, I would sing and dance regardless of the task at hand. People would get annoyed because they thought I was full of myself, when really, holding still felt preposterous when I was surrounded with this bubble of music. I talk way too much about Camp Ewalu, but only because it's the place that puts bread in my soul. I may try to make someone laugh when really they don't feel like only because to see them without that joy is too painful. I'm a hugger because I have more love for all people to try to keep to myself. I'm clingy most everyone and everything because I care. A lot.
If you find something that you dislike about yourself that you feel is unchangeable, I can guarantee that there is beauty there. I'm sorry if someone made you see it in an ugly way. Also, if you want to get yourself more familiarized with people that have been looked down upon because of what they can't do, go on ahead. You'll find the beauty in them, too.
Abby- I couldn't resist this comment. As I was reading about the things you love about yourself and how you overflow (and dance!), my first thought was, "she'd be so great at EWALU". Then I got to the point when you mentioned how you overflow for it as well. :) Seems like you fit right in! I'm so very impressed with your courage to love yourself, it is too often a struggle for many, often taking the wisdom of decades to sort it out. You are on the fast track!
ReplyDeleteAbby, I am sitting here with tears of joy for you rolling down my cheeks!! You are everything I knew you could be and more!! For you to be able to help others is a gift not many young people accept. You, Abby, are a rising star and this blog is your stage. Thank you, thank you, thank you for allowing me to play a small role in the BEAUTIFUL young woman you are becoming! To your parents and brother...WOW, you are an inspiration for us all!! Love, Mrs. Croatt
ReplyDeleteBless you <3 . You were one of the first educators that saw the potential in me, and you definitely never doubted it. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
DeleteI am humbled as I learned so much from you, Abby! I will always be cheering you on!!!
DeleteMrs. Croatt is the best! Great article Abby...Keep on changing
ReplyDeletethe world!!!